I have had quite a complex relationship with my parents, especially my mother; it’s not that we had a sour relationship rather it was more of a bittersweet relationship, we had our good moments and our bad moments. Of course, it is all in the past now and we have a stronger relationship now than we have ever had. First, an introduction to my family my mother is a homemaker, my father is a government employee posted most of the time in a different city, and my elder brother is a novelist. All this started when I was in 8th standard. I wasn’t exactly a compliant kid then and was a bit on the rebellious side. In 8th, my mother enrolled me in a coaching class for which I was really mad at her. I tried to avoid attending the classes and resisted being enrolled in the coaching institute but it was of no use. At that point in my life, I had not decided what I wanted to do in the future; being enrolled in the coaching class made me feel like I was being pushed to do something I didn’t want to do. I was being forced to pursue a medical career in which I had zero interest. As any other rebellious teenager, I acted out and started to bunk classes, defying most of the orders I got from any authority figure, be it, my mother or teachers. I started to get into fights with my mother about almost everything; my father was working in a different city, so my relationship with him did not really take a similar hit. We were constantly fighting without any proper communication or talking about our expectations.
A pattern of such destructive behaviour continued for almost two years, at which point I was in class 10th. Our relationship improved a bit around the time of my Board Exams; during that time, she was especially attentive to my needs and demands. She would do anything given that I was studying and not wasting time. When the results were out, my mother was quite surprised, she always assumed that I was terrible at studies, but I scored 92%, which she did not expect. I scored so well because of the simple fact that one doesn’t really need coaching as long as you study seriously around the time of the exams. I had thought that if I scored well on the boards, I would get a say in determining my stream and further future career prospects. This was not the case. My scoring well in the board exam only further motivated them to strongly push for me to opt for PCB in class 11th. I ended up taking PCB in class 11th and continued with the similar kind of attitude I had previously. My class 11th results were just above average. The same can not be said about my 12th pre-board. My 12th pre boards results were really bad, and I failed in Physics. My mother was furious. She said that if I kept going on like this, I would fail my exams, not get into any college and will have no career prospects. At that point, I had gotten admission into one of the culinary schools. When I informed her about this, she became even more furious and yelled at me for wasting time on such things which are not related to studies. She said even an average doctor earns more money than a top chef. I was really disheartened by the way she reacted, but I knew that she was right at some level. She had my best interest in mind and just wanted the best for me. I realised that she might be worried about me following a similar trajectory as my elder brother. He, too, had gone against her choice of engineering and instead went for being a novelist. Even though he is really nice as a person and works really hard, he is not really financially stable. I did nothing but study for the next three months. My efforts were really reflected in the results. I got 97 percentile in NEET and got 90.2% in the 12th board exam. I got into a good college. My mother was really impressed by my efforts and my results. Before going to college, we went out for dinner. During the course of the dinner, I realised that there was this awkwardness between us. We could not talk about anything other than academics. After returning home, I asked her what she thinks about my brother, she explained that she is proud of him for what he does, but she wishes he had opted for something which would not have led to him suffering financially. She then
said something I had suspected from a long back “Mujhe darr tha ki tum bhi uske jaise position mein na chali jao, iss liye mera mann tha ki tum doctor ban jao” (I was afraid that you too might end up in a position like him, that’s why I wanted you to become a doctor.). This made me realise how deeply she cares about her children; she couldn’t stand idly by as I threw away my life. Ever since I started college, our relationship has only improved more and more each and every day. We talk regularly and properly communicate about things happening in our lives. I feel like the only reason why I was interested in culinary education was to go against what my mother had said. I think the problem with our relationship stems from the lack of proper communication. This was further worsened by the confrontational and hostile behaviour of both of us. In the end, what actually helped us overcome hardships in our relationship was true and honest communication and the realisation that we cared deeply for each other.